Your Laundry Chart, Jack

Turns your laundry chart into one phone-friendly sheet, dig: which programme, temperature and spin for each pile, what can boogie together in one drum, and where that iron's thermostat oughta land. Slap this page on your phone's home screen — Safari's Share menu or Chrome's ⋮ menu both got themselves an "Add to Home Screen" option — and it pops open like a real app, no address bar jibber-jabber, right there by the machine, solid.

Filter dis chart, jack

Slice

Da Pile

Advanced stuff

Programme

Heat

Spin

Da Suds

Showin' da bundled example chart. It's a plain ol' laundry chart, not yo' own. Upload, download or tinker wit' yo' own on da washin' loads page.

Washin' instructions

Scroll on down fo' da pile you holdin', dig it.

Generic Front-Loadin' Jive Machine, 1–8 kg, load 'em up, Jack · Generic Steam Jive Iron, Solid

LOADS — ONE LINE, ONE WASH, DIG IT

A TOGETHER badge mean every pile on dat line share one wash — throw 'em in da machine all at once, chump.

Cotton Pickin' 60° Whites, Jack + White Socks, SolidTOGETHER ~2:30

Cotton Pickin' 60° White Towels, Outta Sight ~2:30

Cotton Pickin' 40° Coloreds, Jive Talkin' + Colored Socks, Cool BreezeTOGETHER ~2:15

Cotton Pickin' 40° Colored Towels, Solid Gold ~2:15

Easy Street 40° Microfiber Towels, Jivin' ~1:30

Cotton Pickin' 30° Darks, Midnight Jive + Black Socks, Shadow Jive + Denim, Blue JiveTOGETHER ~2:00

Fine as Silk ice cold, Jack Raw Denim, Untouched Jive ~0:45

Woolly Jive 30° Merino Wool, Soft Jive + Cashmere Blend, Fancy JiveTOGETHER ~0:40

Sweat Suit Jive 30° Synthetic Activewear, Sweatin' Jive ~1:10

Sweat Suit Jive 40° Gym Socks, Funky Jive ~1:20

Woolly Jive ice cold, Jack Wool Trainers, Kickin' Jive ~0:40

Easy Street 40° Linen, Breezy Jive ~1:45

programme

Dem dials drawn just like they sit on da machine: twelve o'clock is Outta Juice, and da red pointer's where you turn it. Dem chips show every value da display steps through, filled in on da one you want, you dig? On da iron, dat blue band's da zone where it's makin' steam.

1. Whites, Jack

~2:30

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Cotton Pickin' 60 °C · 1200 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Universal powder, lay it on thick, Jack — that bleach in the powder's what keeps them whites from turnin' grey, dig?

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

White Socks, Solid

DRYIN'

Tumble it normal, Jack, or hang it in the sun — that sunshine bleaches whites for free, no jive.

IRON

••• — cotton 'n' linen, smokin' at 200 °C

deep inside the steam zone

Press it while it's still a lil' damp, steam crankin'. Cotton can take all the heat your iron's got, solid.

DA WORD

Wash them whites solo, Jack. One stray colored sock crashin' the party is all it takes to mess it up.

2. White Socks, Solid

~2:30

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Cotton Pickin' 60 °C · 1200 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Universal powder, full dose, Jack

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

Whites, Jack

DRYIN'

Tumble it normal, dig?

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

3. White Towels, Outta Sight

~2:30

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Cotton Pickin' 60 °C · 1400 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Universal powder, full dose. Go light, not heavy, Jack — too much suds stiffens up that terry cloth somethin' fierce.

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

nothin' else — wash it alone, chump

DRYIN'

Tumble it medium, Jack — all that tumblin' is what fluffs the pile back up outta sight.

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

Pressin' it flattens the pile dead, and that towel quits dryin' you, sheeeit.

DA WORD

Never no fabric softener, Jack — it coats them loops in silicone and the towel quits soakin' up, dead. White vinegar in the softener drawer once a month softens it up instead, solid.

4. Coloreds, Jive Talkin'

~2:15

WASH

SOFTENER'S COOL Cotton Pickin' 40 °C · 1200 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Color liquid detergent, Jack — no bleach, no fancy brighteners, dig?

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

Colored Socks, Cool Breeze

DRYIN'

Hang it inside out, or tumble it low, Jack.

IRON

••• — cotton 'n' linen, smokin' at 200 °C

deep inside the steam zone

Steam it up, but flip them prints and dark panels inside out first, solid.

DA WORD

Keep new or heavy-dyed threads solo for the first two, three washes — don't let 'em bleed on the rest, dig?

5. Colored Socks, Cool Breeze

~2:15

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Cotton Pickin' 40 °C · 1200 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Color liquid detergent, Jack

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

Coloreds, Jive Talkin'

DRYIN'

Tumble it low or hang it out, dig?

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

6. Colored Towels, Solid Gold

~2:15

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Cotton Pickin' 40 °C · 1400 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Color liquid detergent. Go light, not heavy, Jack — too much suds stiffens that terry up.

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

nothin' else — wash it alone, chump

DRYIN'

Tumble it medium — all that tumblin' fluffs the pile back up outta sight.

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

Pressin' it flattens the pile dead, and that towel quits dryin' you, sheeeit.

DA WORD

Never no fabric softener, Jack — kills the soak-up dead. Run 'em hot at 60 °C once a month if they start talkin' funky.

7. Microfiber Towels, Jivin'

~1:30

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Easy Street 40 °C · 1200 rpm

Easy Street

3 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Liquid detergent, half dose, Jack. Whatever don't rinse clean out stays stuck in them split fibers and it quits pickin' up jack squat.

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

nothin' else — wash it alone, chump

DRYIN'

Air it out, or tumble it low. High heat welds them split ends shut and that towel never soaks up again, dead.

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

Polyester and polyamide start meltin' down 'round 110 °C, way before that iron's doin' you any good, sheeeit.

DA WORD

Never no fabric softener, Jack — fills them split fibers with silicone and that towel's finished, done, kaput. Wash it with microfiber only — them same split ends that make it soak up grab onto cotton lint and never let go, dig?

8. Darks, Midnight Jive

~2:00

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Cotton Pickin' 30 °C · 800 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Liquid detergent for dark/black, Jack — them fancy brighteners are what leave that grey haze hangin' around.

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

Black Socks, Shadow Jive, Denim, Blue Jive

DRYIN'

Hang it inside out, outta that direct sun. Skip the dryer altogether, Jack — heat fades black fastest of all, sheeeit.

IRON

•• — wool 'n' silk, cookin' at 150 °C

deep inside the steam zone

Inside out, medium heat, Jack. Steam it, don't lean on it hard — that shine on dark cotton don't never come out, solid.

DA WORD

Flip everything inside out, dig? That extra rinse matters big time here — leftover suds dry up as grey streaks on black, no jive.

9. Black Socks, Shadow Jive

~2:00

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Cotton Pickin' 30 °C · 800 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Liquid detergent for dark/black, Jack

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

Darks, Midnight Jive, Denim, Blue Jive

DRYIN'

Hang it out, or tumble it low, dig?

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

10. Denim, Blue Jive

~2:00

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Cotton Pickin' 30 °C · 800 rpm

Cotton Pickin'

1 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Liquid detergent for dark/black, Jack

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

Darks, Midnight Jive, Black Socks, Shadow Jive

DRYIN'

Hang 'em by the waistband and let 'em air out. A hot dryer shrinks 'em down and wrecks that stretchy elastane dead, sheeeit.

IRON

••• — cotton 'n' linen, smokin' at 200 °C

deep inside the steam zone

Inside out on cotton heat if you want 'em crisp, Jack. Steam it up, solid.

DA WORD

Inside out, zips and buttons shut tight. Wash 'em way less than you think, Jack — solid.

11. Raw Denim, Untouched Jive

~0:45

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Fine as Silk ice cold, Jack °C · 400 rpm

Fine as Silk

6 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

One capful o' pH-neutral or denim-special suds, Jack. No bleach, no enzymes, dig?

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

nothin' else — wash it alone, chump

DRYIN'

Hang it inside out indoors, clear of sun and radiators. Never, ever tumble it, Jack.

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

Pressin' it sets creases in all the wrong places and flattens them fades you worked months to earn, sheeeit — don't do it.

DA WORD

Unwashed denim's meant to go months 'fore its first wash, dig? Gentler than the machine: 45 minutes cold soakin' in the bath, inside out, no swishin', no wringin' — then roll it up in a towel to press that water out, solid.

12. Merino Wool, Soft Jive + Cashmere Blend, Fancy Jive

~0:40

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Woolly Jive 30 °C · 400 rpm

Woolly Jive

7 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Merino Wool, Soft Jive: Wool detergent, half dose, Jack. No enzymes, no proteases, no bleach — that stuff eats the fiber alive, dig?

Cashmere Blend, Fancy Jive: Wool or cashmere detergent, half dose, Jack. No enzymes, no proteases, no bleach, dig?

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

each other, dig it

DRYIN'

Merino Wool, Soft Jive: Never tumble it, Jack, no way. Dry it flat on a towel, clear of radiators and sun — hang it up and it stretches out and never comes back, sheeeit.

Cashmere Blend, Fancy Jive: Never tumble it, no way, Jack. Squeeze that water out, never wring it, then dry it flat on a towel clear of any heat.

IRON

•• — wool 'n' silk, cookin' at 150 °C

deep inside the steam zone

Merino Wool, Soft Jive: Only if you gotta, Jack: pressing cloth, no weight on it. Hang it in a steamy bathroom and them creases drop out without you touchin' it, solid.

Cashmere Blend, Fancy Jive: Low heat through a pressing cloth, solid. Better yet, steam it on a hanger and let them creases drop out on their own, outta sight.

DA WORD

Merino Wool, Soft Jive: Flip it inside out, wash it with wool only, nothin' with zips. Merino barely needs washin' at all, Jack — air it out overnight and wear it again, outta sight.

Cashmere Blend, Fancy Jive: Inside out, Jack, and only ever wash it with other wool. Cashmere pills up where it rubs — that's just the fiber actin' natural, not a fault, dig — a cashmere comb takes it right off. Check the blend first: a lil' nylon toughens it up, silk makes it more delicate, solid.

13. Synthetic Activewear, Sweatin' Jive

~1:10

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Sweat Suit Jive 30 °C · 800 rpm

Sweat Suit Jive

14 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Small dose o' mild pH-neutral liquid suds, Jack. Too much is exactly what makes 'em start smellin' funky.

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

nothin' else — wash it alone, chump

DRYIN'

Air it on a hanger — dry inside the hour, Jack. Tumble heat kills that stretch dead.

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

Elastane starts breakin' down 'round 110 °C, and that technical finish goes right along with it, sheeeit — skip the iron.

DA WORD

Inside out, dig? Never no softener — it films right over them fibers that do all the wickin' and stretchin'. A cup o' white vinegar in the rinse resets a load that's already gone funky. Covers tops, shorts, and base layers, Jack — one fabric family, one wash. Mixed colors are cool in one run: at 30 °C them polyester dyes barely budge. 'Cept a brand-new black or hot red piece, which can bleed color for a wash or two — give that one its own solo run first, solid.

14. Gym Socks, Funky Jive

~1:20

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Sweat Suit Jive 40 °C · 1200 rpm

Sweat Suit Jive

14 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Liquid detergent, normal dose, Jack

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

nothin' else — wash it alone, chump

DRYIN'

Tumble it low or hang it out, dig?

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

DA WORD

Give 'em a hot 60 °C cotton run every few weeks, Jack — 40 °C keeps 'em clean but don't reset that funky smell, sheeeit.

15. Wool Trainers, Kickin' Jive

~0:40

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Woolly Jive ice cold, Jack °C · 400 rpm

Woolly Jive

7 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Small amount o' mild detergent, Jack — a wool detergent's the ideal jive. No bleach, dig?

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

nothin' else — wash it alone, chump

DRYIN'

Air dry only, Jack, someplace with air movin': outside, by a window, or in front of a fan. Never the dryer and never no radiator — heat warps the sole and shrinks that wool upper dead, sheeeit.

IRON

Don't iron dis, chump

DA WORD

Pull them insoles and laces out first and wash those by hand, dig? The shoes go in a mesh delicates bag or a pillowcase, solo — a loose trainer batters that drum and everything else in it, solid.

16. Linen, Breezy Jive

~1:45

WASH

NO SOFTENER, JACK Easy Street 40 °C · 800 rpm

Easy Street

3 clockwise from Outta Juice, you dig?

Heat

ice cold, Jack2030406090

Spin, rpm-style

040060080012001400

Buttons

Jive FastGreen JivePress EasyExtra Rinse, Solid

DA SUDS

Mild liquid detergent, Jack, no bleach — bleach yellows up linen and breaks that fiber down over time, sheeeit.

WASH TOGETHER WIT'

nothin' else — wash it alone, chump

DRYIN'

Hang it out, or tumble it low and pull it out a lil' damp, Jack — bone dry in the machine is exactly what locks them creases in for good.

IRON

MAX — linen, blastin' full jive at 230 °C, dig it

deep inside the steam zone

Press it while it's still damp, hot as your iron goes, Jack. Steam it first to drop the worst creases 'fore that iron even touches it, solid.

DA WORD

New linen sheds a lil' dye and lint them first few washes, dig — run it solo till the water rinses clear, then it's cool with any other 40 °C load, outta sight.

Dem durations is just da machine's own guesses, and they shift wit' da load, dig it.